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Day 40: Waking up to a reality of a painful question

So I go to bed with this idea.

This is not what I choose to think about. This is what I think about when my conscious mind almost slips away and I am actually falling asleep.

I wake up to the thoughts of this idea.

Just like in the movie Inception. Obsession with one idea.

Only today with the help of an outlier I realized how dangerous it is.

This idea is very disastrous. I know exactly where it is coming from and why I am so obsessed with it but its really dangerous.

There is a chance that it can be realized in real life but it's dependent on too many external out-of-my-control factors.

I try to open my eyes and then I don't want to face the reality of just one question. Everything else I am content, excited, and willing to embrace the challenge of.

Living in a dream world. Living a part of your life in this dream world that is completely false. Just think about how bad that is.

Otherwise, my life is beautiful and I am always excited to wake up.

So why did I just expose myself so much? It might seem embarrassing, but I care way more about sharing this mindset than creating a certain image of myself.

Addressing questions like that is crucial.

Like in all those movies where characters convince themselves of something because remember that the brain will do anything to make us feel comfortable and protected.

This is very metaphorical because my example is actually about waking up but this relates to any unpleasant reality.

Is there a question to the painful reality of which you do not want to wake up?

You are trying to open your eyes but your brain literally lulls you into sleeping in a little more.

Opening your eyes fully to the painful realities of certain things is extremely important.

It's Ray Dalio's "go to the pain" and radical transparency with yourself.

This is a level deeper though. This really requires abstraction from yourself to be able to even notice this destructive pattern.

This is the biggest challenge. To conquer your inner self.

To fully revamp and rewire old negative pathways.

The realization is going to hurt like fucking hell.

This is harder than hearing critical feedback.

This is deep human psychology and deep inner desires. On top of everything, your brain fooling you too.

Ray Dalio says "To be successful you must perceive and not tolerate problems.". "Successful" is reaching a fulfilling level is not only a career but personal happiness and any endeavor. Identifying problems has even more inertia than resolving them. Like if you are studying for a test tomorrow, the first step is to identify what needs to be covered. This is the hard part. Actually intaking the material is secondary.

There are no acceptable problems to ignore. We want to be the most objective and fulfilled we can be. Even seemingly innocuous problems might (might not) lead to disastrous repercussions.

If you are fully confident that there is nothing like this in your life, it is really great. Keep getting data on yourself to make sure.

What are some illusions we might have?

Every time you say "It's okay, it's okay. I will:

  • have more money

  • get to do this thing I wanted to do

  • be with this person

  • feel this way

  • do anything not grounded in hyper-reality.

There is no one coming to the rescue of creating your image of the world.

Unless you know how exactly you are getting there, even vaguely, if you are relying on some heavenly outside factor to luckily help you or some person to miraculously change, you are most likely feeding an illusion.

In Greek myths, there is a story of a sculptor named Pygmalion who created a sculpture of what seemed to be the most beautiful woman to him. He fell in love with her. Kinda unhealthy....

Luckily for him and unluckily for us, unfaithful non-Greeks, the goddess of love brought the sculpture into life and they "lived happily ever after".

This is the exact demonstration of disastrous illusions. A stone sculpture of your unrealistic dream is never going to become living. There is no love/money/happiness gods or goddesses. The reality will stay stone-cold even to your cries.

Unless you create motion in the direction of that image of the money you want to have, getting to realize your dreams, being with a certain person, and feeling a certain way, you will continue to either be where you are or more likely devolve into an even unhappier state.

If you have some suspicion about a potential illusion that you subconsciously convinced yourself of, construct an environment where you can observe, inspect this, and eventually address it.

If it is an innocent dream that does not create any negative emotions, you are all good. I am really jealous of people who get those flying dreams when they are sleeping!

Also, by no means, am I talking about "crazy" project ideas, new realities, inventions, ambitious dreams. All of that is really cool. Although it might seem delusional, those people who stick with those imagined realities, get to make them into the real world. We are talking about unrealistic, often emotional desires or ideas of how your irrational self wants the things to be.

🗣Is there an idea that you keep ruminating, even subconsciously, that is potentially destructive and unrealistic?

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