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Day 23: Self-confidence Case Study.


Last night I happened to get sucked into watching this mental toughness video on YouTube, a really cool one. So I wake up in the morning all inspired and I am like “Mariyam, how about you do a 10k right now?”. “Why not?”. I come out of the house and open my app and set the goal of 10k. I run two laps (3k) and I can keep going but it's so hot that I  can’t do it anymore. Also, my ”Samsung AirPod” is constantly falling out of my sweaty ear (ewww), and it's really annoying. I had to stop because it was miserable. Point is, I did not do what I said I will. This is really bad. This means that I cannot trust the one person I’ve got: myself. Like where are we even going with this? 

Now the problem is not actually not running 10k but setting myself up for the situation where I don’t do what I said I would. Running 10k at 10 am under blazing Florida sun is stupid. This is an incorrectly defined goal. I can do it maybe at an earlier time, right at the sunset, to be running my last lap as that hot blazing sun is coming up. I can also fix the headphones situation. However, today no matter what I say and feel, my confidence in myself is extremely undermined. 

The worst thing you can do to yourself is to lose confidence in your ability to stick to your word. That voice inside of me started going like: Can I actually do it? Maybe I am just saying I can?. These are the seeds of self-doubt that are destructive from the inside and therefore extremely dangerous on my entrepreneurial journey dry of social proof and positive affirmations. 

How to avoid it?

1. Set yourself up ONLY for success. 

Plan to run when you actually can and the distance you will handle, with all the right conditions and preparations. 

2. Treat this whole deal seriously. 

Self-confidence is a valuable asset you can acquire and build daily. Not getting something actually important done should feel bad. 

I can go like "Hey, but you ran the whole 3k today and you did such a great job, Mariyam". This is bullshit. The objective was to run 10 to show to myself that I can do it. Everything else is an excuse. If I aim to make a 100k and then I only make 30k in the given timespan, it's not bad, right? Like 30k is pretty solid. The idea that I could have made 100k and only barely half-got there is not great news. I am also making myself not to believe in the stuff I say. The world will be telling me to feel better about myself and to relax. Only internal confidence will help me to remain true to my course. 

Treating your self-confidence seriously will enable you to achieve everything you decide to do. Once you say it, having solid confidence in yourself, you will go out and actually do it. 

This case study is not for flexing or achieving my fitness goals because there are more effective ways to train in less time. This is for growing my self-confidence. I should either think really fucking hard before I commit to another random distance or do all it takes to fulfill it. Like my friend Jeremiah says, “I will either do it or die getting there”.

Hey, but I already committed to this one. So I guess I have to run tomorrow.

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